la forza-à-forza è ospite sull’ospite che il tabellone segnapunti
di metalli pesanti che geme con i cheetohs sbilenchi di ogni
aggiunta che salano la terra becky da rotondo un angolo è
amplificato sopra il cancello il suo dispositivo di raffreddamento
del bmx che le meraviglie dei ragazzi non cessa mai di scorrere
come dai sacchi di carta bianchi piego giù per prendere una
moneta dai cinque centesimi il pensiero tenace dei denti cilindrici
di riflesso come le nuove armi pensano un intruglio al & stridente
del PVC degli elastici; i bastoni presuppongono che soltanto i
braccialetti attacchino nella sua mente comunque là per svilupparsi
in tutta la plastica scintillante verde una ragazza ha bisogno delle
cose di distorsione di velocità è così bello come un polso sul maglione
fleecy guardereste indietro di anni il & più successivamente; pensi
a qualcosa qualche cosa una specchio-sfera concentrata in una
stanza fatta di seta la gente in esso irrilevante i disaccordi esterni
di gioco del calcio il gruppo nessuno fino a passarlo indietro che
il tempo irato li sposta in una coperta di comodità degli sputi lei ha
potuto dirgli qualcosa circa il & becky; amico o vuole sedersi vicino
me un momento uno con acuto pomeriggio perfetto per maledizione
calda di prossimità con un nuovo la vigilanza che di campione è
imprevista voi può dire sempre le cose è posposta il gioco che
schiaccia un niente & alcune ragazze che non conoscono i miei
segreti: quanto più io sono regolati per trasformarsi in nei
fantales le rane del cioccolato la liquirizia comprerò inoltre
quanto loquace sembrerò non accennare il parka blu
presto mi svilupperò occasionalmente dalla mancanza
.
typingspace 
the force-to-force is host on the host who tabellone segnapunti of heavy metals that geme with the cheetohs sbilenchi of every addition that salano the round earth becky from an angle is amplified over the gate its device of cooling of the bmx that the wonders of the boys never do not stop to slide as from the bags of unlimited power I fold down in order to take one currency from the five cent tenacious thought of the cylindrical teeth of glare as the new crews think a intruglio next to the & grinding of the PVC of the elastic ones; the sticks presuppose that only i bracelets bill-poster in its mind however in order to develop itself here in all the green sparkling plastic a girl has need of the things of speed distortion is thus beautiful like a wrist on the sweater fleecy you would behind watch of years the & more successively; tasks to something some thing a mirror-sphere concentrated in one made silk room people in insignificant it the external discords of game of soccer the group nobody till to pass it behind that the angry time moves them in a blanket of comfort of sputa she has been able dirgli something approximately the & becky; friend or wants to be based near me a moment with acute perfect afternoon for maledizione warmth of proximity with new a vigilance that of champion is unexpected you can always say the things is posposta the game that it crushes a nothing & some girls who do not know mine secrets: how much the more I am regulated in order to transform myself in i fantales the frogs of the chocolate the liquirizia I will buy moreover how much loquacious one I will seem not to point out the parka blue soon I will develop myself occasionally from the lack
thanks tara – this was a necessary thing you have done. i particularly like this line i’ve come up with:
‘a nothing & some girls who do not know mine secrets: how much the more I am regulated in order to transform myself’
i’m kinda like a genius or somethin.
I always did say you were a good writer.
i’m really itching for some compositional notes on this piece… tell me tell me tell me!
sure astrid: as you would no doubt realise, the number 26 is important when thinking about the english alphabet. it has a historical resonance that i feel is important, mystical even. so, i took the 26th word from page 26, 52, 78 etc of Cervantes’ Don Quixote, until i had 26 words. then, i used each of these words as the basis for a line of poetry. for this i used the text ‘Pepper’ by Tristan Hawkins (this time i did not use a number-rule to find lines (indeed one should never rely on that sort of thing) – i flicked through Pepper with the Quixote word in mind, looking for phrases, for poetries). so, eventually i was left with 26 lines of poetry, lines that were naturally strange & unrelated. i grouped them into couplets, two being the number of couples, & i wanted to appeal to readers who are in fact one part of a couple, who share a bed & that sort of thing. then, i translated the whole thing into italian using babelfish. this was simply the final icing-on-the-cake of complexity. damn it i didn’t want anyone to know what methods i had employed. they were secret: mine alone to ruminate on. i wanted people to think that perhaps i really did speak italian. when tara showed people what i had really done i was distraught. she too knows about the internet, the ways one can make oneself appear intelligent! but then a little solace: funnily enough the re-translation of a translation also contains some interesting lines, some stuff i might use. the tricksiness is paying off!
actually, this is all bullshit. i just took a piece i wrote a couple of years ago, & fed it through babelfish. but which explanation did you like more?
re the fucking couples crap again… I see how a misty haze of loveness might render the upsidedown/insideout/semiitalianbadtranslation of this readable. So, it wasn’t meant for me to understand – good job.
thanks!
i much prefer the first explanation, tho the second has a charming brevity. nice one. it’s funny how compositional notes are pleasurable. i find them pleasurable.
If you need the compositional notes, the writing didn’t do it’s job.
i disagree! i like to read compositional notes as a different piece of writing. i don’t need them, but i often find them interesting to read, as an afterthought, or as a lead-up to a second, different reading. i like that they can be companionable works. & besides… what is the job of writing? & who is in charge of the union!?
i recall a poneme list project which was quite interesting and resulted in each poet’s experiment with text being published with the ‘studio notes’ (comp notes) included. derek might provide the link to haiku review #5…if he so desires.
in terms of composition and or experiment with text – whatever the poet does is valid and often the work itself does not stand alone but will be of interest in any case. i do not expect to find the polished or the ready for publication work on blog posts when i read them, but they do often provide an interest beyond or in addition to what is presented. a poet’s thinking or making, you know, the journey thing.
Yeah, I relate to the point about blogged poems not necessarily being the polished version, and in that case, ‘compositional notes’ can be useful to post with the work… Particularly for the reason that peers can read both the creative and the exegesis and give feedback on whether or not the intention for the piece came through in their reading of it.
If you don’t ‘need’ the notes, Banal, then you’ve got not nothing to ‘disagree’ with. If you just enjoy the reading of them, good on you, but I’d still worry that you’re not enjoying the writing itself enough to engage your own interpretations. This is because I’m usually disappointed by the notes when I’ve gotten a lot out of the poem – who cares how the poet got there, it’s the effect of the poem that counts for me. Unless its incoherent wankery in which case I care about how they got there even less.
If I’m interested enough to understand the background of the thing, I’d prefer to do my own formal and contextual deconstruction of it than read about how “..yeah I was on the dunny one day pushing out a motherfucker and I was thinking about how I should wash the car which gave me the idea to write a poem about Buddhism”.
The job of writing? Apparently it is to write in lower case and use symbols in place of words where-ever possible. As such, I’m the last person to ask, which my 1st years will be most disappointed to find out.
tara, a few things come to mind here and to be fair, there is a lot of wank in conceptual art making – but not more than or less than there has ever been. i do understand where you are coming from with your desire to have the poem stand alone or speak for itself and mostly i agree that this is what could/or does happen once the work is published/marketed – but the process or intention in which the poem is developed can also be its end result,as part of the process that a piece of text endures when an author subjects it to contextual and conceptual twists and does this with intent.
as an example – i developed a poetry sequence which was published as that. i then developed a piece of theatre using only the text from that sequence and various stage effects which included two actors. i then showed a short segment of the filmed performance and gave a talk about the process of developing the piece and getting it performed. the talk included descriptions of how i made the set and decorated the wigs the actors wore and other small details pertinent to the fact that the text was an interpretation of the mindset and paintings of a particular artist. all three of these developments of my text, were, for me, valid and separate pieces of a whole.
how i decide what i will do with my text and what i say about my text is part of my art making – so, i guess that compositional notes, if they appear within a text, are intended to be there and are intended to be considered as part of the art making or end result. i don’t think priviliging one type of text / performance development over another is a good way forward. so, notes on process in or out, a maker’s choice, yes?
Sure, it’s your art you, if you’re doing it with some intent that’s great. It’s not something I’d do, and I haven’t enjoyed watching/reading anything part-creative part-commentary so far. But I’m pro-choice!
The closest I’ve come to it would be occasional playwright’s notes in programs, which are always used as releases and reproduced in print media (or quoted in radio etc). I’d probably not even bother if it weren’t in the name of publicity. I don’t think I have the authority to critique my own work and I don’t really know why anyone would want to know about my process. I find it challenging enough to engage and entertain an audience for the duration of the creative work and that’s generally my primary intent.
I’m curious as to the kind of audience your project attracted?? It sounds interesting. Did you see the staged monologue of Dorothy Porter’s Monkey’s Mask?
i didn’t see the porter piece. my project when performed as a one off event had only fifty people in attendance and was set in the middle of a gallery space. (the poems in publication were read by ? – but the book is out of print now, so likely at least 500 people).
the talk which included the bits of filmed segments and my own descriptions was attended by around 30 people. interestingly, for me, was one person who noticed during the filmed segment and after my talk, that, ‘the set is just like the painting’. this was, of course, my intention in stretching the poetry towards performance. gestural signifiers and visual inclusions moving the text in and out of the paintings as objects and the emotional territory of the artist herself (which when looking at her, frida kahlo, is probably pretty well-known already) – but my own ‘readings’ of some of her paintings were perhaps in opposition to general consensus.
i would not normally stretch all my poetry in this way – but did enjoy the haiku review project and have developed poetry in the past which was performed. i like to keep the text intact and add things, movement, gesture and set. the visual constructs often adding unspoken or unwritten lines which would cramp my own perference in writing poetry for the page. i guess, in general, i would not intend to include compositional notes in my poetry or desire them to be published with the poetry – but on blog or during performance all sorts of possibilites are available and i say go for it…
Sounds good to me. Actually, the Porter was also performed in a semi-gallery space here in Melbourne. As it was performed as a monologue it could have played like a plain old poetry-night pub reading (another thing I have a slight aversion to) but the modest inclusion of a lone double bass and the actress’ characterisation of the protagonist in her delivery (the verse novel’s in first person anyway) inspired me to revisit my playwright past.
Anyway, maybe that’s the difference between that kind of self-conscious examination of the art as part of its presentation – that it pares away a lot of the ‘entertainment’ factor and attracts a pretty specific audience as a result. One of my broad intentions for my own art is to make poetry (and formerly, theatre) more accessible mediums, particularly for young people. I used to incorporate multi-media, live music, and other stuff into all my plays. My first play had a three week run that included a few full house nights, and surprisingly (as it was a 3 hour wank-extravaganza) several return patrons. Pretty good for little old Canberra town!
Righto Derek, I’m going to start writing in my own blog now. Shock horror.
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