it just won’t go away. that & the ‘people rendering’ tag users keep searching on. then there’s ‘thanks for this very interesting post’ submitted by a hyperlink incarnate, ‘with this diet i lost 30 pounds in 30 days’. that’s interesting in the way despondence is in others.

the gorilla is bound by it’s linguistic captors just like anyone & everyone else. even if we were reading the poetry of john laws to pass the time (& we are for fuck’s sake) the gorilla would still know us by this common link. like the poetry of ted nielsen turning out to be all about iphones.

when the kids were younger we might occasionaly race to see who could eat food quicker, but then i would only say ‘you know, this is a race’ if i was nearly finished & it looked like i would win the race. now it barely musters a giggle. gone are the days of calculators. yesterday my sparest brilliance was discussing the likelihood of neural implants in our lifetime. that & the way the sun caught me & my red wine, making us think of afternoon naps, the winters only spain throws up.

when i eventually head towards the look of most hip middle-aged men i will go all out. i will combine the perfectly shaved head, trendy spectacles, clean ruddy face, & expensive pure wool jumper (juxtaposed with low-fi jeans & running shoes). i will establish a glint in the corner of my eye that suggests i am older but still interested in cultural happenings. i shall probably work out, & in true tim rogers fashion i’ll be heard to ‘talk about the drugs you just won’t touch no more’. this will not be a scaffolding process of adjustment. it will be swift and seamless.

no doubt the gorilla will play some role in this (this, but also that, being the unusual observation/edit/speak gambit i take on in this blog thing). i have to keep him in parentheses because he’s liable to make outlandish gestures when you squeeze him in the right way, & that’s just plain unpredictable. we must establish some base level of predictability. else we all end up learning about quantum mechanics on youtube. hearing the banter-like epithets of the days of yore that seem to glow when they spotlight your ex-physics teacher for a monologue involving his own stupidity. things have neither properties of waves or light. they are things. the gorilla is a symbol for this & he stares at me from the post title beaming out that knowledge. just a stymbol. like the last night plastic doll’s penis: a symbol that reassures us all things are natural, sorta okay.