usually i come up with the thought bubbles while driving. i do a lot of that nowadays – sometimes it’s a productive time behind the wheel, other times not so much. but i forgot to include one of the elements i had floating around in the posting of earlier today & it’s been bothering me.
i drove wagga – leeton – darlington point – whitton – a few hours all up. my daughter slept & this future writing was occupying me the whole time. i’m a sporadic writer. when i’m disciplined, i run every night, i make notes, & make poetry from the process the next morning. i’ve not been very disciplined recently. sure there’s a bit of flux i can blame, i guess. this sort of journalistic writing tho generally happens when something happens. & today it was 2 separate people (within the space of around 12 hours) telling me that they’d been reading my blog. i was kind of taken aback. i don’t deal with that stuff well. i’m never quite sure how to respond. i’m socially awkward as a real physical person. but you know me right.
anyway, this sense of being ‘read’ was the impetus. in a sense when something takes me like that then i think blogging the thoughts is the only real way to get rid of them. i suppose it’s cathartic. it’s like how christina stead’s characters would sometimes ‘worry a notion’, which usually involved a single piece of dialogue lasting pages. the talking cure. i’ve only got you to talk to but.
the element i forgot to include in the earlier posting was my emotional investment in instagram. i’m not sure how it was going to fit in, but it seemed to be a related idea, and i know it would have fit. i would have made it. i would have worried it into place.
i’m struck by the notion that i possibly feel the impact of an image a little too much. it’s a palpable thing. when i thumb through my feed & come across something i like, it’s a bodily sensation of liking. i see your perfectly balanced beach shot (with the elements in a pleasing compositional symmetry, the subject caught in a perfect athletic poise, & the focus so crisp & real you can feel the cold of the waves) & however momentary it is i feel like i want to reach out & hug the photographer. the heart isn’t enough.
that’s not completely normal is it. & i know i don’t really have the visual language to describe what’s going on (i mean Jason once had to tell me the correct term for ‘rack focus’, after i’d been talking about this thing i loved for at least 10 minutes..) but i do know what moves me. & i want to communicate that to you. this medium is such an indirect form but then maybe that’s the best way. all forms of communicative media defined by the degree of mediation.